First off, please call me Rory. (Rhymes with âstory.â Sorry, couldnât resist.) Or Mic. Weâre big on nicknames over here and thatâs mine.
Thank you for your letter. I got it yesterday, which was the day after Thanksgiving. They try to do it up big here, to make the day special, but itâs not the same as being at home. And I was in a funk, thinking about my family and friends, all together at our pub, everyone there but me, stuffing themselves on Momâs delicious turkey, Aunt Jackieâs honeyed ham, cousin Barbaraâs mashed potatoes, and our neighbor Abigailâs macaroni and cheese, which is the best Iâve ever tasted. Damn it, now Iâve got my mouth watering again.
Anyhow, your letter came at the right time to cheer me up and give me something else to think about. Like the picture you sent. Hot damn. That had to be the finest female butt Iâve ever seen in a skimpy purple bikini bottom . . . or any bikini bottom, for that matter. In fact itâs so perfect the guys are convinced youâre trying to catfish meâyou know, sub someone elseâs pic for your own. How about we prove them wrong? Send me another picture, a full body shot this time. In that same bikini would be my preference.
To answer your question, I donât know anyone who would call me amoral. But a dog? There, uh, may be one or two girls from my past who think so. But Iâm a guy, and any guy who tells you heâs never in his life exhibited some doggish behavior is a liar. One thing I am not is a liar. That said, when Iâm in a relationship, I donât cheat. Lucky for me, Iâve got no girlfriend or special someone at the moment. And being of high moral characterâif I do say so myselfâI would certainly have told you, without you having to ask, if I did.
So if youâre up for writing me some sexy letters (and hell yeah, the hotter the better!) Iâm more than okay with reading them. For sure I like the entertainment youâre offering a helluva lot more than any entertainment I could have gotten from a classroom of third-graders.
Now, about me. My bio probably told you Iâm a twenty-three-year-old Southie from Beantown. (Translation: From South Boston.) My family owns and runs an Irish pub there, McRoyâs. My mom, dad, and three brothers all live above it. Iâm the oldest. Been working at that bar for as long as I can remember. Couldnât wait to get the hell out. As soon as I graduated high school I went straight into the army.
Iâm six weeks into a twelve-month combat deployment, and I can tell Iâll be seeing a lot more fighting this time around. Iâve already decided this tour of duty will be my last. I only hope I survive it.
On a happier note . . . what Iâm looking for in a pen pal? Someone to take my mind off all the shit happening hereâand so far youâre doing a bang-up job. Tell me about your day. Share the story of why you and your brother are only six months apart. Tell me about your childhood, your teen years, and your dreams for the future. Tell me about the loser who needed stitches. Talk dirty to me. I think weâre pretty evenly matched in the pen pal department. I just happen to be an up-for-anything kind of guy. I donât shock easily. So give me all you got. I can handle it. Care packages? Iâm happy to get whatever you want to send.
Favorite food: My dadâs corned beef and cabbage. Favorite non-alcoholic beverage: Lemon-lime sports drinks. Favorite alcoholic beverage: Guinness Draught. Favorite color: At this point anything that isnât tan or green. New favorite treat: Peanut brittle. Favorite part of the female anatomy: (Iâm laughing because you have no idea how long Iâve been sitting here trying to decide.) A butt that looks like the one in the picture you sent is certainly high on my list. Especially if it tops off a nice set of toned legs, which I bet you have since youâre a gymnast/dancer. But for some reason I am really attracted to a womanâs feet. Not in a toe-sucking, fetish kind of way. But if a woman takes care of her feet, she probably takes good care of the rest of her. I like small, feminine feet with painted toenails. Part of the reason I love summer so much is for the opportunity to see womenâs feet in pretty sandals.
Okay. I sound like a creeper. But Iâm not. Really.
In my downtime I like to work with my hands, building things or repairing stuff. I run when the mood hits, which it doesnât often. But I think chasing after you might be fun. See, something nice to think about for a change.
Well, I gotta go. Time for lunch, then some training stuff. Send out your letters as often as you like. Please donât wait to hear back from me. Sometimes things get crazy, but Iâll do my best to stay in touch. Itâll help if youâd include your email address in your next letter.